Here we are… It’s Race Week!! Week twelve of Twelve of the training block toward the Boston Marathon has arrived! “The Hay is in the Barn,” as they say, or in my case, “That hay has a greenish hue and looks wet? Wait, is it still grass?” In essence, I am ready to run a marathon because I have been running them consistently for twenty-five years, (Boston will be #70) and over the past twelve weeks I have run enough long runs, and overall mileage to feel confidant the shock of twenty-six point two miles in one go won’t be too rattling on my bones and well-being (I am familiar with the feeling), but am I at my peak fitness to race a marathon?

No.

Nevertheless, my toes, feet, hamstrings, tendons and heart feel primed and excited to push their limits further than my mind has asked them to all year. My mind has been too nice, or too distracted, to push my effort in this build toward Boston beyond knocking nervously on the door of uncomfortable. More on that later… Thankfully, during my finale workout this past weekend, (a twelve mile run including a handful of miles at marathon effort) I switched my mindset from challenging motivation to show up, to inviting my competitive edges to break through, to let go of any trepidation or uneasiness, and to trust my gut to take over and have fun!

Honestly, I haven’t been too thrilled about traveling anywhere recently. The combination of TSA issues, societal despair, war, etc., has fueled me on an existential identity nose dive throughout the entirety of March, and just about up to last Friday, (April 10th) but I am done feeling unmoored or unsure about anything and everything happening in the present and future, both in my own little world, and beyond; I simply want to allow myself to be excited instead of worried.

Miraculously, believing, enjoying, and accepting that I have done the work in order to be in marathon shape accomplishes both physical confidence and inner peace.

Therefore, a more genuine assessment of my fitness (mind and body) during the reality of Race Week is that I am excited to race the Boston marathon next Monday.

Ecklyn and I on the Venice Beach pier mid-Christmas morning run.

I am excited get out of Dodge (Los Angeles) for a few days, I am excited to hug and laugh with my family, visit with dear, but faraway friends, clumsily introduce myself to my heroes, share the course with my older brother, Tim, and my amazing sister in law, Ecklyn, (who is one of my favorite people on the planet, and from the first moment I met her was the person who solidified my intuition that Marion was the right guy for me), and because I feel closest to the true essence of who I am as a human being when I race; creative, strong, powerful, and alive.

My husband, Marion, after finishing a 7-mile run last Sunday, his longest run in years.

I am excited and willing to embrace it all, the good, bad, ugly, and enlightened moments that make up every mile of a marathon. I just need my mind to take the morning off, and give my guts free rein to rip!

This recent read was a treasure of a journey up the Pacific Crest Trail, Thirst - 2600 miles To Home by Heather “Anish” Anderson. Anderson weaves her goal of achieving the FKT (Fastest Known Time ) on the PCT with her internal dialogue and grit of how she completed daily mileage goals, along with her backstory of why she set out on this journey, and how hiking has made an impact on her life as a whole. I am not an avid camper or hiker, but I enjoyed following and cheering “Anish” along on her journey, and I appreciated her honest writing style. It is a worthy read indeed!